It is conventional wisdom that we’re our own worst enemies and despite the cliché, the idea rings true. We often drive ourselves insane striving for perfection in our experiences, relationships and selves, and honestly it just becomes exhausting. So here are a few things that women should stop trying to do; right away.
Apologizing all the time: Research has shown that women actually do say “sorry” more often than men. While taking responsibility when you make a mistake is a good thing, constantly apologizing for any and everything, does more harm than good. There’s no need to qualify everything you do. Own your preferences and decisions.
Saying “yes” to everyone else: Yes, I will meet you for coffee even though I’m exhausted and just want to go home and crawl into bed. Yes, I will edit your resume even though I’m swamped with my own work. Stop saying “yes” when you don’t truly mean it; people actually respect you more when you set boundaries.
Saying “no” to yourself: A lot of women spend a whole lot of time deciding what we can’t do or shouldn’t do or aren’t good enough to do. Don’t allow your insecurities and anxieties to make your decisions for you — you’ll only end up missing out on worthwhile experiences. So go talk to that group of people you think you won’t fit in with, stay out late against your better judgment every once in awhile.
Feeling like an impostor when you accomplish something professionally: Women are more likely than men to feel like “impostors” at work, often doubting whether we deserve the successes we achieve. Start taking your accomplishments at face value. You got that new job or promotion or grade or public recognition because you were worthy of it.
Holding on to regrets and guilt: Guilt and regret are two emotions that usually serve to torture the person feeling them. Acknowledge your regrets and guilt, and then move on to the best of your ability.
Trying to be ‘chill’: Maybe you truly are the ‘cool girl’ who loves nothing more than kicking back with a bowl of chips and a movie. But for those of us who don’t possess the ‘chill’ gene, let’s stop trying. Striving to be the mellow girl at all times keeps us from expressing our needs, desires and opinions.
Being in relationships for the sake of having a relationship: If you’re terrified of being alone, the worst thing you can do is jump into a relationship you don’t really want. Nothing good comes from tying yourself to a person who isn’t right for you simply because you feel the need to couple up.
Spending time with people out of obligation: There’s no need to see every old friend and third cousin who passes through your city. Be intentional about who you spend your time with and allow yourself to let some relationships fade away naturally.