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Fair-weather friends
January 6, 2014, 3:12 pm

The fair-weather friend is in your address book, but she doesn’t always make it to your planner. You count her as one of your closest buddies, but she has let you down more times than you can count. Here’s how to deal with a friend who is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated.

She only calls you when she needs something: She never answers when you call to catch up, but the second she needs a favor from you, she won’t stop blowing up your phone. She takes advantage of your kindness and reliability, but what about when you need something, like a friendly phone call or lunch date? Help her out, but give her a warning. Do the favor or give her the information she needs/wants, but add, “I expect a phone call later telling me how it went.” If you don’t get a thank you, a favor in return, or a catch-up session, don’t be so helpful the next time around.

She only wants to talk about herself: You love the girl, but if she doesn’t stop talking about her problems, her job, and her boyfriend, you might scream. You can’t even get a word in to give her advice. Listening to her all the time is exhausting and unfair. You can also bring it to her attention, or simply learn how much you can tolerate. Don’t call her as much, unless you’re in the mood to be her personal life coach.

She confuses your friendship for your car, wardrobe, summer home, etc:  You’ve got the car keys, and she needs a ride. You’re happy to help a sister out, but why does it feel like she’s using you?  There is much more to a friendship than material perks. Stop being her personal chauffeur, and see what happens. Seriously, just say no. You can’t today — you have something to do. Is she still being nice to you? She’d better be.

She only makes an appearance for the ‘big’ stuff and expects to be your BFF: You never see or hear from the girl, but the second you do, she wants to know everything about you. She shows up for the biggest events in your life, but she misses your normal life for some reason or another. Weddings, birthdays, and other large gatherings are wonderful ways to bring friends together, but if your buddy lives down the street, major events shouldn’t be the only time you see each other. Out-of-town gals are obviously a different story, but if the lady is your neighbor and never stops by, your friendship might not be as strong as you think it is. Maybe keeping your distance really is the best way to prevent your feelings from getting hurt.

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