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Controlling your anger
August 2, 2015, 1:53 pm

Anger, though a natural emotion, is often frowned upon in women. Many women struggle to untangle their anger from other emotions such as anxiety and depression and very few women know how to express their anger in a positive manner.

The key is to know your real feelings and where they come from, and only then you can develop coping tools. Below we look at some of the ways in which we can efficiently channel our anger.

Use a diary to track your patterns of anger: It can be helpful to notice if you become irritable at specific times of the month, after eating certain foods, or under special circumstances. If you can learn to know in advance when these triggers set off the stress in your body, you can retrain your reaction, and allow the ‘thinking’ part of your brain to take control.

Find ways to cope with the moment:  In addition to counting to ten, try taking deep breaths, meditation, visualization, or remove yourself from the source of anger. After the feelings of anger are over, take time to clear your head and explore your emotions.

Consider releasing anger through physical activity: Another way to feel better emotionally is to have a good workout. This might mean that you turn up the music and scream out your anger. Or you can pound a pillow with a plastic bat, use a punching bag, or work in the garden to help clear your head and eliminate any anger you might be feeling. Find a way to express your anger in a physical, safe way to get it out of your body.

Consider releasing anger through creativity: Sometimes a creative activity that appeals to you can help heal your anger. Let your true self show in your creation. It can be preparing a meal, painting, doing a craft project, singing or dancing. It can be anything creative that allows you to express yourself and release your anger in a positive manner.

Give anger a voice:  Once you get over the initial feeling of anger and calm down, share your feelings. Do not direct the anger at someone, but discuss why you are hurting and how you feel. If you do not want to talk about it, write it in a letter or journal. Some people find burning what they have written can help decrease their anger. By writing it down, you can revisit the anger patterns and see triggers and reactions. You will then be able to act in a rational and powerful way that will not leave you feeling guilty.

Do not be scared to ask for support:  Anger is a complex emotion, and it might have been building inside you for many years. If you need help to explore your feelings or identify your anger patterns, consider talking to a therapist.



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